The Fallen Pastor Holy Order is for those among us who see clearly that Original Sin is a factually true doctrine. We are lost in sin, and our only way out is love. This is the freedom of your heart. It is the Unspeakable Way.
We seek the satisfaction of the longing of our hearts.
Become who you want to be. Be who you are. Create yourself.
As an initiatory order, we seek to mark our learning and growth in this world with rituals that make manifest our changes.
Magick is not about changing the world. Simply put, magical changes in the world are not possible. Magick changes you, the adept, from within.
There are many blind alleys in the twisted map of the occult world. Many routes promise wealth and power. Such things are merely lures, illusions to draw you in. Once you are on the path, you cannot leave it, it does not end… until you are transformed.
As an order, we do not promise wealth or power. We prefer the plain honesty of reality. We are here changing ourselves through living and ritual work, meditation and magick. Changing ourselves is enough. It is, in fact, everything.
The Way of your heart is really the only way you can follow.
Initiation is for YOU
Every initiation is unique. It is for you, where you are in light of where you are coming from. Together, we will work on looking within ourselves and the lives we live. And together we will construct initiation rituals that are meaningful to you.
Initiations help us to mark and process the changes in our lives. As we grow, our understanding of the Mysteries of life evolve. Today I am a Christian pastor. Tomorrow I am an atheist who sees the Way working itself out in all beings. No way is THE way. There is only the way you are on now. Celebrate that journey and mark it with initiation.
So you don’t have the Secret, the Mystery of Mysteries?
No. There is no mystery of mysteries. There is only a moment of life rising up like a wave and crashing back into the ocean. There are mysteries, but what we say about those mysteries depends on where we are at right now. Getting lost in metaphysical debates and spiritual speculation does nothing for us. Come see the mysteries for what they truly are. See clearly. Live truly.
Who is Frater Hymenaeus Gamma?
Frater Hymenaeus Gamma is a wanderer, like you. He is not a teacher or a priest or a guru of any sort, though he has played these roles in his life. Frater Hymenaeus Gamma is on the way and wants to be on the way WITH YOU. He is merely a companion on the way.
Frater Hymenaeus Gamma has been a wanderer as long as he can remember. He does not claim to be a teacher, just a wanderer. He has found himself on the way and wants to help you see you are on the way too. And what that way looks like… well, that isn’t something Hymenaeus Gamma can describe ahead of time for you like a prophet. Instead, he will help you to look and see for yourself where you are now.
Surely, some paths are better than others? If some paths are true, others must be false, right?
This is the logic of the world we find ourselves in. It is what it is. But we can promise you that by looking into the mysteries of life, the rigidity of reason and logic falls away. In the end, the deepest reality is unspeakable and can’t be gathered into the boxes of reason and logic. It CAN be experienced. This is the Way.
Does Initiation or Membership cost anything?
No. The only thing asked of you is time and commitment.
Why do you use Christian Scriptures and imagery? Are you Christian? Do you need to believe in God?
No, we are NOT Christian. Our way is not compatible with the way Christianity today has evolved. There are certainly parts of Christianity we find worthwhile and interesting, especially within the apophatic and mystical theologies that have developed. But we do not have a Savior or any commitment to the idea of God. That is all up to where you are at in life.
What is Initiation?
There are many views on this question. Some see it as a way of cleansing the spirit of the initiate and attracting the fundamental powers of the Universe into her being and life in a balanced way. Others see it as a theatrical performance that engages us in a deep, psychological way, opening us to new ways of seeing and thinking. To us, the theory behind initiation makes no difference. Initiation is what it is and it does what it does. The experience of initiation has been powerful in our lives and we want to share that with you.
How do I apply to enter the order as a Neophyte?
Write us an email introducing yourselves, fallenpastorholyorder@proton.me, you and your partner, and we will communicate with you via email. Through our communications we will get an idea of what sort of initiation you are looking for and will decide together with you if this order is for you.
What does Initiation look like?
There are a lot of materials available to the public. The secret rituals of the OTO have been published. Israel Regardie and Aleister Crowley both published the initiation rituals of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. We suggest you start there, with what is publicly available. But remember, those rituals are just a few of many. Our hope is to create an initiation for you, for who you are now.